Writing women characters without having ever been a woman

This thread got me thinking about that whole ~"men writing women"~ thing again, and in particular what sorts of things I would inevitably miss if I were to naïvely just write ~whoever~ and then append a feminine gender as an afterthought.

This was going to be a response to that thread but a quick look at the notes suggests that interacting would be a Bad Idea.

So the biggest problems that I can identify seem to be:

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Obviously I'm missing a lot here, and I'm intentionally ignoring any of that awful male-gaze "she breasted up the stairs boobily" sort of nonsense - my focus on this post is primarily on the specifics I'm most likely to miss with a "just write a character and remember to use she/her pronouns to refer to them" approach.

(As for women writing men, the only times I've ever felt that a woman author's rendition of a man character seemed a bit off has been in MLM slashfics where I simply cannot parse how two guys go from this kind of interaction to that kind, but it turns out that's just because I, personally, have no concept of enemies-to-lovers shipping without prior crying heartfelt repentance and I get this reaction regardless of gender (cf. a lot of mainstream media heterosexual interactions that do this and leave me baffled in more or less the same way).)