Nave[l] gazing, i guess

In typing out this list I notice that none of it directly engages the usual atheist objections (proof, problem of evil) at the level in which the objections are typically framed - indeed none of them make any sense except through abandoning or demolishing that frame. But for point 1 [promise of forgiveness and repentance], which included a deep-seated nihilism from my teenage years that I never outgrew, I might not have broken out of it myself.

It's been a little over a year an a half since I was last at a church service in any meaningful way.

I've come to the realization that - or, rather, have had a much harder time ignoring this understanding I've had since 2014 that - these objections were never dealt with at face value and my continued active participation reinforcing the contrary belief was the only thing really holding them at bay.

Which leaves us with 1.

( Personal braindump shit )

But I don't think I could have gotten anywhere with any of that if I hadn't broken down a shitton of limiting beliefs in ways I believe, given the tools available at the time that would not have faced immediate and effective resistance thanks to those limiting beliefs, only this path through Orthodoxy could have done.

And for that I remain grateful.