In which all urgent matters were actually concluded at the office.

[mc776]

Interviewer note: This sounds like an interesting, but difficult, writing challenge. Challenge accepted! Now I need to figure out at least 10 ways for someone to respond when a characters says “Hello”. I am sure at least several responses would be snarky.

Resulting in the following writing exercise: barks for Gondwanaland characters (Tyr, Samaelle, Yumi, Edgar) as NPCs in the starting base. PC is a magic-using Imperial merc, could be any ethnicity - main focus is merc status.

T
Good day to you.
What do you need, Agent?
Do you require assistance?
What? I'm busy.
Now where did I put that file...
Status report.
We could use a few more casters like you.
We must expand our influence in this area!
Troop movement report just came in.
What /are/ those Xhel doing in those hills...

S
Yeah?
Oh hi there!
Hello again!
Another day, another body.
I hate embalming fluid.
Did you bring coffee?
Damn snipers. My kingdom for an intact skull!
Where can you get protein glue around here?
Corpses don't grow on trees, you know! (Not usually.)
I do *not* do seances for dead pets!

Y
What?
Huh?
Yes?
Do I know you?
Hmph.
I'm busy.
One minute, no more.
We're running low on powder.
Give me something to shoot.
I need a drink.

E
Why hello there!
Hey, buddy!
What can I do you for?
Can you tell Sam she still owes me money?
I need a drink.
Heard our guys are taking a pounding near the hills.
Nothin' a big fuckin' sword can't beat eh?
HQ needs to send us somewhere, I hate this waiting!
If the Xhel ever try to cut off our beer supply, their entire army's good as dead.
I miss being up north.


[On selecting the character after they have joined the party. Shuffle first 4 for a bit, then in sequence from there as in Starcraft.]

T
Yes?
What?
Ready.
You have my sword and my ear.
On your word, team leader.
Which word I expect anytime now.
The Empire does not tolerate weak leadership.
Sir, I must ask you now, in standard military parlance, to shit or get off the can.
This indecisiveness is unacceptable!
So help me if you click one more time...
I'll file a supplementary discipline advisory report about this!

S
Yeah?
I'm here.
Good to go.
Tell me what needs dead.
I heard you the first time.
And the second.
Is this some kind of come-on?
I suppose I've had worse.
That's not meant to be encouragement.
Do not fuck with me, caster!
I have a shovel and a lingering scent of formaldehyde!

Y
Hm?
What?
You need?
Give me something to shoot.
This is not acceptable.
Why did you even bring me?
You're wasting everyone's time.
Especially that guy's over there.
I don't care who it is, just click on him and let me kill something!
::hiss::

E
Go on.
I'm listening.
Go ahead, Agent.
They won't know what hit 'em.
Look, buddy, do you want something or not?
I can do this too, you know.
"Beep. Hey! Beep. Hey! Beep. Hey! Beep. Hey!"
How's my beeping?
Call 1-800-EAT-DICK.
Fine, click again, see if I care.
::sigh::

Comments

[helarxe]

I'd play the hell out of this!